So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
