Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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