living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
