omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
