Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
