yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
