I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
