? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
