well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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