I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
