so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
