your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
