Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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