it's not cheating when I paid for it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
