glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
