Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I need water and some morals
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
