my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
