in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
