im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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