Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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