Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
