Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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