I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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