1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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