I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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