I just made out with a guy for $7.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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