the condom got lost in my hair
Is it because I queefed?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
