then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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