I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
