I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
