why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
