they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
