if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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