omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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