They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We left an ass print on the piano.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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