I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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