I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
