dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
