I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
