my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
