I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
wow bdsm is so cute
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