Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We left an ass print on the piano.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
