she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
