So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Randomize
