I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
