He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
