it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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