oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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