Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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