Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
