what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
