I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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