I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
